Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category
by Amanda on Apr 10th, 2012
Pieter-Dirk Uys’ alter ego, Evita Bezuidenhout, has been cooking up delicious humour and political satire for decades. Who knew she could cook proper South African kos as well? In this excerpt from Evita’s Kossie Sikelela, we find out just how dear to Evita’s heart melktert is, in a memory she shares:
When I was a little girl at school in Bethlehem in the Orange Free State, I remember how traumatised I was by that picture of the Battle of Blood River that hung on the wall next to my table (I was in Standard Four for 2 years because I’d broken my leg and a snake bit me – twice). Those images of violence and bloodletting were enough to drive me, as a young Christian Afrikaans girl, quite insane. I voted for the NP! No wonder so many of us Afrikaners are so deeply disturbed. And then I was introduced to melktert. It was soft on my pain, candy floss against my fears. Melktert is more than milk and less of a tart. It is that kiss of life from one who knows life to one who needs love. Melktert is the cushion after the traumatic fall from Hell, the duvet of warmth after the avalanche of guilt has frozen your soul. Melktert is the ultimate weapon of sweet destruction. Hand a piece of melktert to the person who confronts you with a gun. You will end up with that gun, leaving the antagonist with another few kilos on his hips.
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by Amanda on Oct 13th, 2011
London – BlackBerry users across Europe, the Middle East, Africa and the Americas were hit with service disruptions to their smartphones for a third day after an unexplained glitch cut off internet and messaging services for large numbers of users around the world.
In South Africa, Mrs Evita Bezuidenhout called a press conference to address the crisis which was attended by journalists, all with paper notebooks and pens in hand. The prominent ex-diplomat and social lubricatress reacted with barely concealed glee: “I’m not saying I told you so, as such, but I told you so.”
Mrs Bezuidenhout was referring to her recently published journal Evita’s BlackBessie, a wonderfully colourful depository of common sense, practical wisdom and empty pages where you can enter your contact numbers and other vital networking details where they cannot be wiped out when the magnetic field misbehaves or somebody trips over the wire of some supercomputer.
This book, one of the authoress’s best-selling to date, was published partly for the money to sustain the lifestyle to which Mrs Bezuidenhout has become accustomed as the most famous white woman in Africa, and partly out of compassion with humanity. Evita, who passed Science with a “D” symbol at Bethlehem High, knew that one blast from the sun and all electronic communication would break down.
Evita’s BlackBessie is also available in Afrikaans as Evita se BlackBessie – but NOT in electronic format.
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Since Tuesday, Tannie Evita has been issuing gentle reminders to her followers on Twitter that those who own Evita’s BlackBessie are having “the last laugh”:
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by Amanda on Sep 2nd, 2011
Pieter-Dirk Uys is a busy man, but in between book launches, press interviews and putting on shows, he still finds time to do his nails when routinely transforming into the “most famous white woman in South Africa”. Uys, the man behind Evita Bezuidenhout and Bambi Kellerman, featured on this week’s episode of Top Billing, where he cooked up some koeksisters for the show’s producers and shared advice about the future of South Africa.
Watch a clip from the show:
In an interview with the Sunday Times, Uys discusses his favourite city in the world, his best and worst holiday experiences and his fantasy travel companion:
Where did you spend your last holiday?
Among the wild life in the Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania – during the great migration of the gnus and zebras.
What was the best thing you did while there?
Said virtually nothing, just stared at what I saw and had to pinch myself that I was not in a David Attenborough television special.
Your favourite city abroad, and why?
Berlin, because my mother was born there and I have, as they say, still got a suitcase in Berlin (ich hab’ noch einen Koffer in Berlin).
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Photo courtesy Top Billing
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by Amanda on Aug 26th, 2011
Bambi Kellerman, Evita Bezuidenhout se jonger suster, het Pieter-Dirk Uys glo “rondgejaag” totdat hy ingestem het om haar spookskrywer te wees en haar outobiografie te skryf. Só het Uys aan Mariana Malan van Die Burger gesê. Die boek, Never Too Naked, verskyn eersdaags en word by Open Book Cape Town bekendgestel.
Bezuidenhout is ook volgens Uys baie besig. Sy is een van die “desperate vroue” in sy vertoning, getiteld Desperate First Ladies, wat op 5 September by die Baxter open. Grace Mugabe, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Mevrou Petersen van die Kaapse Vlakte en een van Uys se ou vriendinne, Nowell Fine, verskyn ook glo in die teaterstuk:
Opspraakwekkende onthullings word verwag wanneer Bambi Kellerman se outobiografie eersdaags op die rak verskyn.
Never Too Naked word op 22 September in die Fugard-teater in Kaapstad bekend gestel.
Volgens Kellerman se spookskrywer, Pieter-Dirk Uys, het hierdie onmoontlike suster van Evita Bezuidenhout eenvoudig beheer van sy rekenaar oorgeneem. Sy het hom rondgejaag totdat haar verhaal vertel is.
Boekbesonderhede
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by Amanda on Aug 12th, 2011
Suzy Bell recently spoke to Pieter-Dirk Uys about the artistic stylings of his alter-ego, Evita Bezuidenhout. Uys told Bell that it is important for Evita to maintain a balance between entertainment and social commentary, saying that she must never be preachy, reflect the fear of the audience or trash all expectations. On the topic of Lady Gaga, Uys revealed that Evita would never approve of anyone who might look like a man in a dress:
Looking at the photographs in BlackBessie it is clear that as Pieter-Dirk Uys working through the art persona of Evita, you are a serious performance artist playing with gender roles, hybridity and popular culture. As Evita, you have effectively erased your identity for the sake of art and for wider socio-political meaning. Do you see yourself in the role of the performance artist as the character, Evita?
I am an actor. My job is to erase my identity so that the character I play is convincing. My job with Evita is complex: she has to be so real that the women recognise the woman and the men forget the man. She cannot ever be a cartoon of women like Dame Edna. The fact that she has survived since 1978, not just as a stage persona, but as a “farce to be reckoned with”, is only because she is driven and fed by the real politics of the day — the homelands dissolved and so did hers. She had to retire. If Zuma appoints her as SA Ambassador to Mongolia she must go — and I must toe that line. Evita is now so established — like the Queen Mother — that the creation of Bambi Kellermann, her sister, has been an important balance. Evita has no sense of humour or flair for irony; Bambi has both. Evita doesn’t use bad language; Bambi thrives on incorrectness. And as for Evita stealing all the attention? That’s the proof of the success of the process.
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by Amanda on Aug 1st, 2011
Pieter-Dirk Uys skryf in sy jongste rubriek vir Boek24 oor die keer toe die seuns by ‘n verbeteringskool vir hom gevra het om vir hulle Shakespeare-boeke te bring:
Viva Harry Potter! Een van die rykste vroue in die wêreld was 13 jaar gelede platsak.
Sy het met haar baba in koffiehuise in Skotland gaan sit en met haar pen in ’n gewone ou skoolboek geskryf.
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by Amanda on Jul 27th, 2011
On Friday, 29 July, Pieter-Dirk Uys will stage a once-off performance of Adapt or Dye as part of the 3rd Apartheid Archives Conference – Narratives, Nostalgia, Nationhoods. Adapt or Dye, Uys’ first-ever piece, was first performed at the Market Theatre in 1980. Now, the historical performance returns to the Market Theatre this Thursday at 8 PM. Tickets cost R160. Don’t miss it!
Event details: Adapt or Dye
Drama for Life (DFL) is proud to present its most dahling patron Pieter-Dirk Uys in an historic performance of his first ever piece, Adapt or Dye. This once-off performance is being staged in conjunction with the 3rd Apartheid Archives Conference, at 20:00 in the Market Theatre on 29 July 2011.
Uys first performed Adapt or Dye in 1980 at the Market Theatre. In this memorable performance, Uys will reflect back over the last 30 years, and says that this performance is not so much an adaption “but a balance between what was then and what is now. The irony will be to see how much from 30 years ago, in a state of emergency, can be recognised as still being part of our democracy, in spite of everything.”
Uys will also be performing For Fact’s Sake on 28 July as a Drama for Life fundraiser. Tickets for this event cost R250.
Event details: For Fact’s Sake
From the press release:
Join Drama for Life (DFL) on 28th July 2011 at the Market Theatre for its annual fundraising event. This year DFL is proud to present one of its very own patrons, the internationally acclaimed Pieter-Dirk Uys, who will be performing For Fact’s Sake, especially adapted for the fundraiser, for this one night only.
Drama for Life was established in 2006, with the goal of using applied drama and theatre practices in the fight against HIV and AIDS in Africa. Today, this ambition remains as relevant as ever, and Uys’ performance all the more appropriate. With Uys’ artful ability to infuse serious social and political issues with comedy, the evening is bound to have a hilariously enlightening outcome. Pieter-Dirk Uys speaks to us about the roller coaster ride of sex, HIV and AIDS in a contemporary society. After a ten year work-in-progress throughout schools, colleges, reformatories and retirement villages in South Africa – and one and a half million learners – Uys shares the facts and fictions about this great fear in the lives of all of us: dying of love. Much of the information made up the core of his internationally-acclaimed award-winning performance – Foreign Aids – and this presentation of For Fact’s Sake has been specially adapted for the DFL fundraiser, and promises to be a most memorable not-to-be-missed event.
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Event invites courtesy The Market Theatre
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by Amanda on Jul 20th, 2011
Join Sunday Times and Random House Struik for a dinner conversation with Evita Bezuidenhout and Toby Shapshak, technophile and editor of Stuff Magazine, as they discuss Evita’s Blackbessie. Sunday Times Books Editor Tymon Smith will host the event, which takes place at the Michelangelo Hotel in Sandton.
Bookings will only be confirmed on receipt of payment. Guests will be seated at tables of 10.
See you there!
Event Details:
The Menu
Starter
Peppered Goats Cheese & Egg Plant
Pesto grilled egg plant filled with peppered goat’s cheese and wild mushrooms, with roasted butternut with pinenut-coriander aioli and a salt roast olive crustini
Palate Cleanser: Pear & Champagne Sorbet
Main Course
Aromatic Buttered Chicken
Tender chicken breast simmered in aromatic Indian spice blend with butter and cream, finished with chopped coriander and served with a fluffy basmati rice, roti and condiments
Dessert
Warm Chocolate Parcel served with mango ‘fruit-pop’ ice cream and hazelnut crumbs
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by Amanda on Jul 15th, 2011
Evita Bezuidenhout transformed into Pieter-Dirk Uys last night for the launch of her new book, Evita’s BlackBessie (Evita se BlackBessie), at The Book Lounge in Cape Town.
Random House Struik‘s Stephen Johnson took pleasure in introducing Uys, “a verbal genius”, who he described as being not only a “son of our city” but also “an occasional daughter” and “sometimes the president”.
Johnson reflected on RHS’s longstanding friendship with the multi-talented Uys. Uys/Evita’s publication history with RHS includes Between the Devil and the Deep, Elections and Erections, Evita’s Kossie Sikelela and, now, Evita’s BlackBessie. And, with the forthcoming publication of Bambi Kellerman’s autobiography, Never Too Naked, by Zebra Press, Johnson expressed his concern that RHS would soon run out of imprints to accomodate Uys’ various incarnations.
When Uys took to the stage, he allayed Johnson’s concerns with the suggestion that his next book goes out under the banner of Government Gazette. Uys kept his audience entertained with impersonations of Nelson Mandela and Sophia Loren and some accompanying anecdotes of their influence on the rich lives of his characters.
Uys reminded the audience that, despite the fact that Evita’s BlackBessie is primarily intended as a personal organiser, indeed “your perfect organiser”, it is not just full of blank pages: “This book has chapters because Afrikaans women don’t sell empty books”. Uys also took the opportunity to promote the importance of books and of reading. “There’s nothing sexier than a bookshop”, he said, “It’s the safest sex I’ve had”. He ended his leg of the launch answering a single question from a rather timid audience with a comment on the evils of toy guns: “Plastic guns are now so real that you start handing over your car keys”.
Book Lounge proprietor, Mervyn Sloman, concluded the launch with the exciting announcement that Bambi Kellerman will be launching Never Too Naked at Open Book Cape Town in September. Don’t miss it!
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Sophy Kohler (@sophycola) livetweeted the event with the hashtag livebooks; here are some tweets:
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Facebook gallery
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by Amanda on Jul 8th, 2011
Pieter-Dirk Uys het aan Steyn du Toit op LitNet gesê dat Evita Bezuidenhout se ma, Ouma Ossewania, onverwags haar verskyning gemaak het. Sy is gebore tydens die Boereoorlog en almal het gedink sy is lankal dood, maar nou is sy in ‘n vertoning saam met Evita te sien. Uys het ook verduidelik dat die pas verskene Evita se BlackBessie ‘n handige joernaal is, veral as jou selfoon die dag breek, verdwyn of ophou werk:
Hoe pas Ouma Ossewania Kakebenia Poggenpoel in die prentjie in – hoe is sy verwant aan Evita?
Ouma Ossewania Kakebenia Poggenpoel is Evita se ma. Gebore tydens die Boereoorlog, fanaties teen alles Ingels, onthou alles, nie bang om taal te gebruik nie.
Pieter-Dirk Uys gaan voortaan ‘n gereelde rubriek vir Boeke24 skryf. In sy eerste een fokus hy op verbeelding:
Die verbeelding is soos Hollywood in elkeen se brein.
Jy kan in ’n sekonde van ’n aardbewing tot ’n bruilof gaan en dit kos niks. Ons aanvaar dat almal daardie gawe het. Dis mos logies. Die verbeelding is deel van die lewe, soos asemhaal.
Nie vir almal nie.
Boekbesonderhede
Foto te danke aan JHB Live
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